I was looking through my old Facebook notes and found something that I typed up around this time last year, Saturday, June 12, 2010. I had just led worship at Louisiana Youth Ministries Camp #1. It was a strange and humbling experience leading worship where I had been led in worship for so many years. And now, back in time we go...Last night, I sat in my room at 12:41AM completely in awe at Who our God is.
In that room by myself, I knew that God didn't see me as the camp worship leader, "that guy" who leads worship in youth or Chi Alpha, or anything else. I had "More Than Life" by Hillsong playing. The Holy Spirit highlighted the first verse for me: "Stand by the promises we made, Let go of everything I've done, I'll run into Your open arms, And all I know, is I love You more than life." In my room with the curtains closed and the lights off, He saw me as the son He loved. We talked about camp and how awesome the people were, and how humbling it is to think that God would use me to lead His worship.
All I could say was that I loved Him more than life. For me, that meant that I loved Jesus more than leading worship, more than music, more than anything. It was then that the Holy Spirit prompted me to do something that I hadn't done by myself... I had Communion with the Lord.
We didn't have unleavened bread and grape juice, so whole wheat bread and sweet tea had to do. I figured that Jesus was more interested in the heart of it anyway.
I sat on the edge of my bed in the dark with tea and a slice of bread, and I just began to cry before the Lord. I'd never felt the presence of God like that before. So intimate. So real. Just for me. I love You more than life. He loved me more than life. He knew me so thoroughly, but he still used me. All I could think was "If not for Grace..."
If Jesus can use me, he can use you. Today, make quality time to spend with Jesus. He loves you so much. I know you make find that to be cliche, but everything about Who God is hinges on His love and holiness.
To end, LYM Camp #1 was amazing. Worshiping with everyone was phenomenal! We all had the best time. A special THANK YOU goes out to Pastor Allen Chapin and all of the staff that pulled off another great camp! Most of all, thank you Jesus for those saved, baptized with the Holy Spirit, and called for your purposes! Praise the Lord!
Wow, to think how much can change in a year and how much I've changed. Crazy. I've been leading worship at Gateway Church for the past year, am now engaged, and am moving to Southwestern Assemblies of God University to finish my Music Ministries degree. I am humbled at God's grace, love, and His commitment to the call on my life. All I can think is "If not for Grace..."
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